


That Old Feeling

by Pishposh86



Category: Stucky...I mean what else ;)
Genre: Be gentle, Because I can, Declarations Of Love, Don't Judge Me, Just popped into my head, M/M, My Brain Doesn't Quit, New love, Old Love, Stucky Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pishposh86/pseuds/Pishposh86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky Have Loved Each Other Since Middle School and Went on to be high school sweethearts. Then eventually college came with Bucky and Steve going to different schools. Last Bucky saw Steve he was kissing him goodbye at an airport with Steve promising he would come back to him. Forward a few years later and Bucky hasn't heard from Steve since and has now fallen in love with a wonderful man and married. So what happens when he bumps into Steve at a business convention? Will he remain faithful to his loving husband or will those old familiar feeling begin to get the best of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Thought Of This One Due To Lack Of Sleep and Alot Of Candy *Really I Mean It*

Bucky felt the tears running down his face "I can't believe you are leaving"

Steve sighed sadly and wiped away one of Bucky's tears with his thumb "Don't worry Bucky. I promise I will come back for you...I will try to visit you as much as I can okay"

"Steve I don't know I mean Chicago is pretty far" Bucky replied softly

Steve smiled and kissed Bucky sweetly "I don't care. I'll still come back just to see you babe. I love you"

"NOW BOARDING FOR CHICAGO FLIGHT PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO GATE 6" 

Bucky smiled sadly "Guess that's you huh?"

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms and inhaled his scent "This isn't goodbye Bucky. I promise I'll come back to you...I love you with everything inside me. My heart is yours forever"

Bucky felt the warmth of his tears pooling around his eyes "I love you too"

With that Steve and Bucky kissed for the last time. Then Steve released Bucky's hand as he walked to the gate. With one last wave of goodbye Steve disappeared out of Bucky's sight.

"Baby are you alright" a voice said snapping Bucky out of his flashback

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm sorry babe...I didn't really get enough sleep last night. I guess I must be dazing out" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"Well I don't see how you could be losing any sleep. I mean don't I tire you out enough" 

Bucky blushed "Gee I don't know"

Bucky didn't know why he had that flashback...it just seemed like lately that's all he thought about. He just couldn't understand why. Maybe because it was a hurt he never got over. See Steve said he would come back...Bucky even waited. It was just like Steve vanished. No phone calls, no letters, nothing...it was almost as if Bucky never meant a thing to Steve. It took years for Bucky to get over his broken heart. He was depressed and for a while was like a hermit in a shell. Life didn't seem to make sense without Steve by his side.

It wasn't until Bucky meant his now amazing husband Gavin. Gavin was patient, loving and warm. For a while Bucky was bit closed off from Gavin...but Gavin never gave up on him. That made Bucky admire him even more and soon that admiration turned into love. Bucky and Gavin were now going on two years of marriage and Bucky loved everyday of waking up next to this wonderful man. So why was he thinking about Steve?

"Maybe because you never completely got over him you loser" Bucky thought with a sigh as he glanced out the window

"So when is your next business convention?" Gavin asked breaking Bucky out of his thoughts again

"Oh in two weeks. It's going to be in Washington this year" Bucky replied with a smile

"Sucks that I won't be able to go with you because of work" Gavin replied with a frown

"I know but I'll only be gone for a few weeks and before you know it I'll be back" Bucky replied softly

Bucky was now a business owner. After Steve Bucky focused all his time and energy on college and became the owner of a handful of small books shops that opened locally. But Bucky the determined person that he was wanted more and was focused on opening more of them in every state if possible.

"Well I'm sure you will have a lot of fun. Well I have to head to work...try not to miss me so much babe" Gavin said as he leaned over the counter and kissed Bucky sweetly

"I always miss you" Bucky replied with a smile

"Oh what about dinner tonight" Gavin asked before walking out the door

"You know me I'm not picky" Bucky replied with a smile

"Chinese it is" Gavin replied with smirk

"Sounds great. Have a good day at work okay" Bucky replied with a smile

"I will love you" Gavin said as he walked out he door and closed it behind him

Bucky sighed softly "Love you too"

*Two Weeks Later*  
Bucky felt like he was dragging. He should have listened to Gavin and gone to bed early but he just couldn't he was excited for this trip. After the flight taking forever Bucky picked up his rental, stopped at the closest coffee shop and then made his way to check into his hotel.

"Oh my god...finally" Bucky said as he threw his exhausted body on his huge hotel bed.

The convention wasn't till a few more hours so Bucky decided to shower and relax until then. Bucky decided to call Gavin and let him know he got there safe and sound.

"You sound exhausted" Gavin said softly

"Gee thanks" Bucky replied with a playful scoff

"Are you excited to be in Washington?" Gavin asked softly

"Of course but you know nothing beats home" Bucky replied with a smile

"Well as long as you have fun and make the most of it" Gavin replied with a smile

Bucky smiled "Look I'll call you back later. I'm going to shower and head out"

"Okay love you" Gavin replied softly

"Ditto" Bucky replied as he hung up

*Few Hours Later*  
Bucky couldn't lie he felt so out of place here. There were so many people some he already knew and some he didn't. Bucky was still happy to be hear and excited to tell people about his experience as an owner and loved giving advice to people who had the same goals.

Bucky decided to take a small break and made his way towards a small quite room to gather himself. It was then that Bucky bumped into someone.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry I should really pay more attention" Bucky said helping the person picked up the item he dropped

"Not your fault. I get so lost at these...oh my god Bucky" a voice said in shock

Bucky looked up as he was picking up some papers from the floor "Oh my god...S..Steve?"

"Yeah its me. Geez Bucky you look great" Steve said with a soft smile

"S..ss..So do you. What are you doing here?" Bucky asked still feeling the wave of shock coursing through his body

"I own a few businesses back home and well I come to the conventions as one of the speakers. What about you?"

"Uhh well same but I come because I love to give advice and trying to open more businesses" Bucky replied softly

Steve smiled "That's great. You've always been so determined Bucky"

Bucky smiled softly "Thanks" 

Silence passed between the two before Steve spoke "Umm look how about we get something to eat after this is all over and done with? My treat"

Bucky bit his lower lip "Sure. Sounds good"

"Great. I've really missed you Bucky" Steve replied with a smile

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and handed Steve the last of his papers "I have to go"

"Oo..okay. Well see you later" Steve replied 

Bucky didn't say a word and rushed away from Steve "You are such an idiot. Why the hell would you say yes?"


	2. Catching Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You For The Hits And Kudos

Bucky sat across from Steve in their booth. They found themselves in a small quite pizza place not that far from the convention. 

Steve was getting a little to uncomfortable with the silence and could tell Bucky was looking a bit tense.

"So umm how have you been? I know it's been a while since I last saw you?" Steve asked breaking the silence 

Bucky looked up at Steve "A while ugh try years" Bucky thought but kept his mouth shut.

"I've been fine. You know just been busy with my work and well just trying to get my other businesses open. How about you I mean you look like you are doing well? What's new with you?" 

Steve smiled softly "I have been doing well. Ever since I graduated college I put all my schooling and concentration into owning my own companies. I was determined to make it happen and slowly but surely its coming along. As far as what's new with me not much really. Still living in the same state and have a small but decent home. Just me and my dog...I love it"

Bucky laughed softly "Sounds like quite the life"

Steve couldn't help but feel his heart flutter hearing the sound of Bucky's laughter. He missed hearing that sound and seeing Bucky's beautiful smile. To be quite honest he missed everything about him. The way his lips felt when they kissed, the warmth of his hands when the laced together, and those damn beautiful blue eyes that he got lost in every single time.

"What about you? What's new with you Buck?" Steve asked softly 

"Well like I said my work and well" Bucky lifted his hand and showed the beautiful silver ring on his finger that shined in the light

"I'm married now. Going on two years now...I've never been happier" Bucky replied with a huge smile on his face

Steve couldn't lie. Seeing that ring on Bucky's finger hurt like hell and Steve couldn't figure out why. Him and Bucky were no longer together and they haven't spoken in so long. Maybe because Steve knew it was his own stupid fault that Bucky was the one he let go and he regretted it every single day of his life. Steve still thought of Bucky as his and now to know that Bucky belonged to someone else killed him inside. 

He had to say it. It was killing him. 

"Bucky about us. I just...I'm so sorry" Steve whispered softly

Bucky looked down "Please don't"

"I have to Bucky. I left and I never came back for you like I promised. I broke my promise and I feel terrible about it" Steve replied sadly

Bucky didn't even make eye contact and his hands were shaking "I said don't do this. I really don't want to talk about it. Its over and done with...its the past so leave it there"

"But I have too. I've been living with the guilt for years. I messed up and I'm sorry" Steve replied softly

Bucky looked up and finally made eye contact with Steve. His eyes showed hurt and anger all at once.

"Why do you always have to be so fucking stubborn" Bucky said as he got up from his spot in the booth and walked out of the resturant

Steve sighed softly and soon made his way out to catch up with Bucky. 

Steve walked out and found Bucky walking across the street where there was a local park. Steve rushed over and caught up with Bucky.

"Buck please" Steve said softly

"No" Bucky replied angrily

"I just want to apologize" Steve replied

"Apologize. Are you fucking kidding me?" Bucky replied harshly

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed "You have every right to be angry"

Bucky scoffed "You left me Steve. I mean you just left and it was almost like I didn't mean a damn thing to you after all those years we shared together. I waited for you Steve...days turned into weeks and weeks turned into years and I never heard another word from you. You broke my heart...you destroyed me. I loved you and you left me"

Steve hung his head in shame "I know and I'm sorry.There wasn't a day I didn't think about you Bucky"

"If you thought about me all day why didn't you call me? Why didn't you...you know what forget it" Bucky replied turning to walk away

Steve caught hold of Bucky by the forearm and pulled him close "I didn't call you because I knew you would be mad and I was weak. And I knew that there was a chance you moved on and I was right. But I don't care about that ring on your finger...I still see you as mine Bucky and I always will. I never moved on because you were the only one for me. Sure I tried but it never worked like you and I did"

Bucky began to cry softly "But you broke my heart"

"I know and I'm so sorry" Steve whispered wiping the tears off Bucky's cheek the same way he did when he left him at the airport

"Bucky" Steve whispered softly

Bucky looked up and locked his eyes on Steve's bright blue eyes

"Those damn eyes.I still haven't seen in anyone else's what I see in yours" 

Steve smiled softly "Same here"

Steve leaned in a placed his lips on Bucky's. Steve couldn't help but sigh he missed these lips so much and he finally felt like he found of piece of himself. 

Bucky broke the kiss "I can't do this" 

Steve bit his lower lip and caressed Bucky's face.

Bucky sighed "Fuck"

Bucky laced his arms around Steve's neck and they shared a long awaited kiss. It was then for the first time in a long time Bucky felt his heart skip a beat.


	3. My Stupid Stupid Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay warm and toasty inside because baby its cold outside  
> So here's another update :)

"What are you doing? Stop you are married you idiot" Bucky's inner voice was telling him

"But you know that you still love him. You still want him. You've always wanted him" another voice said inside Bucky's head

"But it's wrong" 

"But it's Steve" 

"Bucky are you okay?" Steve asked hovering over Bucky 

Bucky locked eyes with Steve. How did this escalate so quickly? One minute they bump into each other at the convention and the next minuet they are in a restaurant trying to forget the passion that they shared for each other by covering it up with casual conversation. And then...that kiss in the park went from that to here they are in Bucky's hotel room with clothes littering the floor and Steve above Bucky as he looked him deep in the eyes.

"I'm fine. I just can't believe you are here. I never thought I would see you again Steve" Bucky whispered softly

Steve smiled "Well I'm here and I never want to leave this bed until I have you again"

Bucky smiled weakly and pulled Steve down for a sweet kiss "I missed you"

Steve buried his face in Bucky's neck "I love you"

Bucky couldn't help but feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. For so long he waited to hear those words again. Yes he heard them from Gavin and it meant a lot to him but to hear them from Steve one more time meant the world.

"You...you still love me?" Bucky whispered caressing Steve's face

"I've never stopped and I probably never will. I know that you are married but that doesn't change a damn thing" Steve replied softly

"You know this can't turn into anything more once it's time for me to go back home. You know that" Bucky replied sadly

"Well then let's just cherish this moment" Steve replied as he captured Bucky's lips in a hungry kiss

It was the kind of kiss you give someone you are going to see for the last time. Bucky whimpered into the kiss as he felt Steve's hands caress his legs from his hips and then his inner thighs. Bucky could feel the goosebumps forming on every piece of skin that Steve's hand touched. Bucky let his hands roam from Steve's back and down towards his bottom. Bucky couldn't help but relish in feeling Steve's butt...it was his best attribute after all.

Bucky moaned as he caught sight of how perfect Steve fit between his legs. Then again he always did...that what made being with Steve in this way so perfect everything about them molded perfectly together. Bucky moaned as Steve began to trail kissed down his neck his hot breath making him get harder by the minuet. He could swear that if Steve didn't fuck him now he would burst.

"Steve please no more teasing. I think we both waited long enough" Bucky whispered his breath ragged and his lips plump and raw from such powerful kisses.

"But teasing you has always been a lot of fun" Steve replied licking Bucky's ear lobe

Bucky groaned "Ugh Steve please. I've never wanted anything so much in my life"

Steve locked his eyes on Bucky. He looked so wanton and starved for attention. It kind of made him wonder how things went in the bed with him and his husband. Did he not now that Bucky deserved nothing less then the ultimate form of satisfaction.

"Do you have anything...you know to help" Steve asked softly

"As far as protection I know you are clean. As far as lubrication...well I did bring a small bottle of lotion with me. And before you ask not for the reasons you think you perv" Bucky replied with a glare

"Whoa whoa calm down I was just asking babe" Steve replied with a chuckle

Steve left the bed and stood in the middle of the room in all his naked glory "Well where do you have it?"

"First drawer on the left" Bucky replied softly

Steve walked over to the drawer and pulled out the lotion and quickly made his way back to the bed. Steve poured a small amount of lotion in his hand and lathered some on his dick and then some on his fingers.

"How bad do you want me baby?" Steve asked his hands trailing around Bucky's flat stomach and down to the most private part of Bucky

"Steve please" Bucky whispered softly 

Steve smirked and slid a finger slowly and deeply inside Bucky making his arch up and gasp with pleasure.

"I think this is what I miss the most about being with you. You always made me so hard with all your noises and how your body would always cry for more" Steve replied as he slid in another finger and began to move them inside Bucky.

"Fuck Bucky you feel so fucking great inside. I can't wait to stick my hard dick inside you baby" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

Bucky's body shivered with anticipation. Gavin never talked dirty and when Bucky suggested in Gavin almost looked appalled by the suggestion. Sex with Gavin was great but Bucky would be lying if he said that he was fully satisfied. Bucky enjoyed being made love to but sometimes Bucky felt like a hard fuck and no one knew that better than Steve.

"Steve please. I need you now please don't make me beg" Bucky replied softly

"Why not? You always looked so fucking sexy when you begged for it" Steve replied with a wicked smile

Bucky growled in frustration "You either fuck me now or I'll kick your ass out of this damn room...naked"

Steve smiled softly "Bossy I like that"

With that Steve lined himself up at Bucky's entrance and gently pushed his way inside "Fuck Bucky your so tight. What gives does your husband not give it to you good enough?"

Bucky glared "Stop fucking talking"

Steve pushed deep inside Bucky with a hard thrust making Bucky cry out "Hmm I don't think you should talk to me like that when we are in this position babe" 

"Fuck me" Bucky cried out as he felt Steve thrusting harder and deeper inside him. Hitting the very core that was Bucky...no one knew how to work his body like Steve did.

Steve laced his hands with Bucky's and brought them over his head and continued to thrust into Bucky. The thrust went from hard and deep to slow and sweet...it was perfect.

Bucky raked his nails along Steve's back making Steve hiss as he thrust faster. Soon Steve's breath became ragged and heavy as did Bucky's.

"Bucky I don't think I can last much longer" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

"It's okay just please come inside me Steve...please" Bucky replied as he caught Steve's lips in a passionate kiss

With those words Steve stiffened and groaned into the kiss as he came deep inside Bucky and Bucky followed by coming on Steve's stomach.

Steve collapsed atop of Bucky "Goodnight Bucky"

Bucky smiled and ran his fingers in Steve's blonde sweaty hair "Goodnight Steve"


	4. When You Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation for this chapter: Adele on repeat :)

Bucky awoke the next morning and his eyes met with Steve's sleeping form. 

"Fuck...fuck. What did you do?" Bucky mentally scolded himself as he slowly got out of bed.

Steve remained asleep while Bucky quickly made his way to the bathroom. Bucky turned the knob and began to run a warm shower. Bucky glanced at himself in the mirror before getting into the shower. 

"Your so stupid. How could you let this happen? How could you let your emotions get the best of you?" Bucky scolded himself as he ran his fingers through his hair and caught sight of the ring on his finger.

Bucky began to cry softly as he slid the ring off and placed on the soap tray. Bucky then stepped into the shower and began to let his tears fall freely as the water washed them away. He couldn't believe what he had just done. All it took was one look and one kiss from Steve and he gave himself up so easily after he vowed to be loyal to one man and one man only. He felt like the scum of the earth right now.

After getting out of the shower Bucky walked out of the bathroom and walked out. Bucky made his way back to the bed only to find the bed was empty. It was then that he felt a pair of hands reach out for his waist. Bucky jumped and then tensed at the touch.

"It's not fair that you took a shower without me" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

"Sorry but I had to get cleaned up before I leave" Bucky replied softly

"Leave? What are you talking about?" Steve asked turning Bucky around to face him

"I'm going back home. I can't stay here any longer" Bucky replied softly as he walked to one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a pullover

"But you can't go home. The convention has one more week until its over with" Steve replied with a frown

"I know but I just can't stay here okay. I have to go home and I have things I have to take care of back home" Bucky replied sternly

Steve reached out for Bucky's arm and pulled him close. Bucky was now fully clothed and his hair was at his sides damp and covering his eyes slightly. Even now he looked breathtaking.

"Your running away aren't you?" Steve whispered softly

Bucky pulled his arm out of Steve's grip "I'm not running anywhere. I don't need to explain myself to you. Look what happen last night should have never happened. I let my emotions get the best of me and it clouded my judgement. It's just...seeing you again made me feel things that I thought were gone but I guess I was wrong" 

"Then why are you leaving?" Steve asked firmly

"Because if I stay here with you I know I'll do things I'll regret. One I've already done and I won't do again. I'm married Steve...I have a husband and a great life back home. Please understand that this can't be anymore than what it was last night" Bucky replied softly

"Which is what?" Steve asked his blue eyes glowing

Bucky sighed softly "Exactly what is was...one night"

Steve watched as Bucky gathered the last of his things

"Goodbye Steve" Bucky replied as he walked towards the door

"So that's it your leaving just like that. Leaving me here after everything we just shared" Steve replied sadly

Bucky turned back "Now you know how I felt when you left me at that airport. Hurts doesn't it"

Steve didn't say a word and hung his head and with that the last sound Steve heard was the door opening and closing with Steve left in an empty room.

*Hours Later*  
"Hey what are you doing here?" Gavin said as he walked into their townhouse and saw Bucky sitting on the couch

"Well gee hello to you too" Bucky replied with a smile

Gavin walked up to Bucky and embrace his husband "I'm happy to see you back but the convention still had a while before you came back home"

"I know but I just didn't like being away from home that long and besides I think I got my fill of the convention before deciding to come back home" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"Well okay. Well I want to know how did it go? Meet any interesting people?" Gavin asked with a smile

Bucky dazed for a minuet and a flashback of him and Steve on his hotel bed flashed into his brain "Here and there"

*Weeks Later*  
Bucky went about his day as he worked from his home office and Gavin of course at work. Bucky had so much to get done as he gathered all his information about plans to open another business. Bucky was on his laptop getting work done until he received an email from an unknown source. Bucky gave a confused face and clicked the email. In the email was a link...it was a link inviting him to chat.

"Damn your curiosity" Bucky thought as he clicked the link

Bucky took in upon himself to type first 

Who is this? -B.Barnes

Wow didn't think you would actually click the link- SR

"SR? Who the hell are you?" Bucky thought to himself as he thought about what to type again

Well you did invite me to chat. Who are you?- B.Barnes

Bucky its me-SR

Bucky felt his heart pounding in his chest when he realized it.

Steve?-B.Barnes

Yeah. It's me...listen Bucky can we talk please?-SR

Bucky inhaled a deep breath as his shaking hands began to type again.

Okay. Here's my number. Steve you know I really shouldn't be doing this- B.Barnes

I know but after that day in the hotel I can't stop thinking about you. And I really want to talk about it. So I'm going to call you right about-SR

*SR has logged off*

"Are you kidding me?" Bucky thought letting out a sigh of frustration

It was then that Bucky's cell began to ring. Bucky looked towards his phone sitting on the side of his desk and picked it up. The number was one he didn't recognized so he finally decided it could be him.

"Hello" Bucky replied softly

"Bucky" Steve replied on other end


	5. Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been up since 12:00 am and hopped up on caffeine because my one year thought it was the perfect time to wake up :)

Bucky sighed "Why are you calling me Steve?"

Steve chuckled softly "To talk that's why and well because I miss you Buck"

Bucky smacked his forehead "I told you that day in the hotel...this can't go any further than that day in the hotel room. I'm married Steve. I can't be doing this with you"

Steve smirked "Can we meet somewhere"

Bucky froze "Meet somewhere? Wait a minuet where are you"?

"In town. I decided I needed to get away for a while and why not come back to where in all began for us" Steve replied softly

"You couldn't just leave well enough alone could you. Why are you doing this Steve?" Bucky asked softly

"Because I miss you. So can we meet somewhere?" Steve asked once more

"No" Bucky replied quickly

"Come on Buck please. Just to talk like I said" Steve pressed 

"No. Didn't you hear what I just said" Bucky replied sternly

"Please" Steve pleaded like a child

Bucky hated when Steve would do that. It always made him turn to mush.

Bucky groaned in frustration "For fuck's sake. Fine okay fine but just to talk and nothing else. And after that this is over and done with...you go on with your life and you let me go on with mine. Got it" 

"Scouts honor" Steve replied softly

"That shit doesn't work with you Steve" Bucky replied with a sigh

"What do you mean?" Steve asked confused

"You were never a scout. Let's me at Centanial Park its about 15 minuets from where I live. I can't believe I'm doing this" Bucky replied and then hung up 

Steve couldn't help but smile. Bucky could never tell Steve no...no matter how hard he tried.

*Moments Later*  
Bucky walked into the park and passed the huge trees in the front. It was then he caught sight of Steve sitting at one of the benches playing on his phone.

"Hey" Bucky said softly

Steve's fingers stopped on his phone and he looked up with that beautiful smile that made Bucky weak.

"Hi. I'm really glad you came Bucky" Steve replied softly

"I said I would. Mind if I sit?" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"By all means" Steve replied as he scoot over so Bucky could sit right by him

A moment of silence passed before Bucky spoke "So what did you want to talk about?"

Steve turned to face Bucky and smiled "Anything. I just wanted to see you again Bucky"

Bucky sighed "Steve I really don't have time to be doing this with you. I have a lot of things I have to do and well quite frankly I really shouldn't be doing this with you"

Steve frowned "Why are you pushing me away Bucky? Why are you treating me like I don't matter?"

Bucky scoffed "Are you kidding me? I'm treating you like you don't matter...that's rich. I'm not the one who left you hanging...I'm not the one who made empty promises. So do not try to make me out to be the bad guy here"

Steve sighed "Look I get it. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I left you and I didn't have the balls to call you and tell you why. It's just I had so much on my plate at the time I guess I let the important things in my life get away. That doesn't mean that I stopped loving or thinking about you. I thought about you every damn day. It's just it had been so long I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. But to make things fair...you didn't really call me either"

"Yes I did Steve...I called plenty of times. All I got was your damn voicemail...after that I just figured...I just didn't think I was a priority in your life anymore. So I moved on...it was hard but I moved on and I fell in love again. And I'm happy...I'm truly truly happy. So why can't you just let it go?" Bucky replied sadly

Steve sighed softly "Because that day when I bumped into at that convention it all came back. All those feelings that we had for each other and the passion we shared came back. When I saw your face it was like something in me came back to life and I couldn't lose that again. And then when we kissed and made love in the hotel it was like I found that missing part of my life. You are the only person in my life that can fill the void in my life that I've had for so long. I lost you once Bucky...I can't lose you again. I fucked up by letting you go...I don't want to do that again once I've gotten a chance to make things right."

Bucky looked away. He couldn't bare to see the hurt on Steve's face. 

"It's too late for that Steve. I'm so sorry but you broke my heart and it crushed me. I honestly thought I would never love again...to be quite honest I didn't want to love again. Then I met my husband and he picked up all those broken pieces of my heart and showed me I could love again. I can't do this with you Steve...I won't. I won't let you hurt me again. Then again I never thought you would hurt me. You see you were everything to me..you were my heart. I loved you with every fiber of my being. You were the air I breathed...you were mine. Being with you all those years made me realize nothing else in the world mattered as long as I had you. So that day at the airport letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. But then you promised me that you would never forget me. It's funny."

Steve held back his tears "What's funny?"

Bucky locked his gaze on Steve's "I never thought that the person who meant the world to me...would ever be the person to hurt me most"

Steve hung his head in shame and let the tears roll down his face "I'm so sorry Bucky"

Bucky sighed "I have to go Steve. Please just let this go. I moved on...you should to"

Bucky stood from the bench and was about to walk away until Steve reached out and grabbed Bucky's arm

"Please don't go. Please Bucky"

"Steve don't do this okay" Bucky replied softly

"I don't want to lose you again. I can't lose you again" Steve replied sadly

"Steve I'm married. We can't do this...if the circumstances were different of course I would try to make things work but then again the hurt and anger of you doing what you did to me will always be there" Bucky replied softly

Steve stepped close to Bucky and caressed Bucky's cheek. Bucky felt the warmth of Steve's hand...shit he missed his touch so much. Guess that's why he didn't think twice that night in the hotel. He just missed everything about Steve.

"Are you happy Bucky?" Steve asked softly 

"What?" Bucky asked confused

"You say you are married but are you happy? Does he make you happy like I used to?" Steve asked softly

Bucky sighed "Yes he does. And yes I am happy"

"Really? So if you are so happy why didn't you give it a second thought when it came to being with me?" Steve asked firmly

Bucky gasped "Are you fucking kidding me? How could you say that? I love my husband. As far as that night like I said I let my emotions get the best of me plain and simple"

"Really. I don't think so. I think you still want this. In fact I know you do. Who are you kidding Bucky? You know you could never love anyone like you loved me" Steve replied his voice firm and deep

"Fuck you. I don't need to explain myself or my marriage to you. You were my world Steve...well not anymore" Bucky replied as he turned to walk away

Steve growled in anger as he rushed up and caught up with Bucky standing square in front of his blocking him every time he tried to take a step.

Bucky glared at Steve "Get out of my way Steve"

"No. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me. Do it. Tell me you never want to see me again and I'll leave you alone" Steve replied sternly

Bucky locked eyes with Steve "I...I don't love you"

Steve cocked an eyebrow "I don't believe you"

With that Steve pressed his lips against Bucky's making Bucky gasp into the kiss. Steve kissed him sweetly and soon broke the kiss looking deep into Bucky's eyes.

Bucky glared at Steve "I hate you"

Steve smiled softly "I know"

As the once again shared in a passionate kiss. Bucky knew everything about this was wrong...but he knew deep down inside Steve was right. He could never stop loving Steve...no mattered how hard he tried.


	6. That Awkward Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day Off Update

"Well okay fine we can go but just for a little bit alright?" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"Great. So can I ask you something?" Steve asked with a smirk

Bucky raised an eyebrow "I'm afraid to say yes...but okay go ahead" Bucky replied softly

"Were you excited that I messaged you?" Steve asked with a crooked smile

"Ugh I knew you were going to ask me that" Bucky replied with a sigh

Steve chuckled "Well were you?"

Bucky felt himself getting a little flushed "That's for me to know...and that's the only answer you are getting?"

Steve smiled "Aww come on"

Bucky glanced over at Steve "So how long will you be here before you have to go back?" 

"I got about two weeks...but I'm thinking about extending my stay for a while longer. What do you think?" Steve replied in a deep seductive tone

Bucky felt his heart pounding "I...I..well that's totally up to you of course"

Steve cocked an eyebrow and smiled wickedly "Is this it?"

"Yep this is my place. Now it's a bit of a mess so yeah" Bucky replied with a nervous smile

Steve rolled his eyes "Just open the door Buck"

Bucky sighed as he put his key in his apartment door and opened it. It was one hell of a nice looking place...Steve was impressed and also a bit ashamed. He really needed to clean his place up when he got back home.

"Wow. This is a really nice place you got here Buck. I like it a lot" Steve said as he made himself comfortable on Bucky's couch.

Bucky gave Steve a strange look.

"What? Wait please don't tell me you've had sex on this couch. Please please tell me I didn't just sit on your sex couch" Steve said shutting his eyes 

"No...no...it's just it's still so surreal to me to see you sitting on my couch. Seeing you here. And as far as me having sex on the couch we haven't so don't freak out" Bucky replied with a chuckle

"Thank god" Steve whispered under his breath

Bucky set his keys on the counter and sighed "Would you like something to drink? Coffee or I don't know umm what would you like?"

Steve smiled "Actually coffee sounds great right about now. I need to wake up a little" 

Bucky smiled "Okay well let me put a pot on for us"

Steve watched as Bucky moved around the kitchen and then began to look around the apartment from his place on the couch. It was then that Steve caught sight of a picture of Bucky and another man. This man who assumed to be Bucky's husband of course. The man was quite handsome, deep brown eyes, chestnut brown hair and looked like one of those health nuts. Steve sighed...this guy didn't really look like Bucky's type but then again they say opposites attract. 

"That's Gavin" Bucky said from behind Steve making his jump a little

"Really? Hmm looks like a nice guy" Steve replied softly

"He is. He's a great guy...I love him very much" Bucky replied with a soft smile

Steve smiled weakly "Well...I guess that's a good thing huh?"

"Maybe you can meet him one day" Bucky replied softly

Steve forced a smile "Sounds good"

Silence passed "Umm I think the coffee should be ready" Bucky whispered softly as he made his way back to the kitchen.

Steve made his way back to the couch and sat back in his spot. Soon Bucky walked over to him with a mug of coffee and handed it to Steve. 

"Are you kidding me?" Steve asked reaching out for the mug

Bucky gave a confused face "Excuse me?"

"This is the mug I gave you on our 5th anniversary. You still have this?" Steve said with a huge smile

Bucky glanced at the mug. He was right it was the very same mug. On the mug was a picture of Bucky's favorite painting...Starry Night by Van Gogh. Bucky loved that mug and when Steve gave it to him...it made it that much more special. 

"So it is. I wasn't really paying attention" Bucky replied with a smile

"I remember begging the store manager to let me have the last one. She was holding it for herself but I told her that it would mean the world to me and to you if she would let me have it. I knew she would cave" Steve replied with a smirk

Bucky smiled softly. It was then that Steve set his mug down and reached out for Bucky's free hand.

"Bucky? You don't know how happy I am that you let me come here" Steve whispered softly 

It was then that they heard a sound at the door and Bucky quickly pulled his hand away.

"Hey you. Oh...I'm sorry I didn't know you had company over babe" Gavin said as he walked in the door and closed it behind him

"I...uhh.." Bucky was at a loss for word for some strange reason

"Gavin Mitchell. Very nice to meet you..uhh" Gavin said as he shook Steve's hand

"Rogers. Steve Rogers." Steve said with a smile as Gavin continued to shake his hand

Bucky glanced at both Steve and Gavin. Never did he ever think he would have his ex and his husband in the same room.

"Hmm so how do you know my husband here. He's never mentioned you before" Gavin said with a smile

Steve looked over at Bucky with a smirk "Really? Never mentioned me not even once"

Bucky looked over at Steve as his bit his lower lip nervously

"Nope" Gavin replied with a smile

"Well we grew up together...went to school together as well. He's my best friend" Steve replied as he patted Bucky on his shoulder

"Kill me now please" Bucky thought as he waited for his husband to respond

"Well that's cool. It's really nice to meet you" Gavin replied with a huge smile

It was then that Gavin's phone chimed and he pulled it out. Gavin looked at his phone and then quickly put his phone back in his pocket.

"Well look I don't mean to be rude but I just got a text to go back to work. Someone couldn't make it in" Gavin replied with a frown

"But...but you just got home. And you promise we'd go out to dinner tonight. This is the fourth time this week they've asked you to go back. Can't you tell them no" Bucky replied with a frown

"Sorry babe. I wish I could. Hey how about you and your friend here hang out tonight. That could be fun" Gavin replied grabbing his satchel

"But...I" Bucky was cut off

"Yeah that could be fun. I'm only here for two weeks why not" Steve replied with a smile

"You see babe. Go on and have fun" Gavin replied as he kissed Bucky sweetly 

Steve couldn't lie seeing Gavin kiss his Bucky stung a bit. 

"I'll see you later babe. I love you" Gavin replied softly

And just as quickly as Gavin walked in he was gone.

Bucky sighed "I love you too"

Steve sighed softly and then smiled "I guess that means your free tonight huh?"

Bucky gave a nervous smile "I guess so"

Steve smiled softly "Well then I guess I got myself a date tonight"


	7. Confessions And Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh another update...why not ;)

"So does your husband usually take off on you when you have plans with each other and you have company?" Steve asked before sticking a french fry in his mouth

Bucky glared "No he doesn't. It's just lately he's been doing it more often than usual. Maybe I'm reading to much into it...he is a very hard worker"

Steve raised an eyebrow "I'm sure he is"

Bucky set his drink down "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing...just me rambling" Steve replied with a smile

Bucky glared "Then stop rambling"

Steve chuckled "You were always so feisty...scratch that you are still feisty"

Bucky couldn't help but smile "Shut up"

Steve smiled "Do you remember when I first asked you out?"

A smiled crept onto Bucky's face "How could I forget? You couldn't even form words"

Steve gave an un-amused glare "Cut me some slack. I was nervous okay."

"It was cute. It was our 8th grade school dance. I remember telling you no at first because I didn't want to go and because well I didn't know how people would take seeing us together. But you were so persistent" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"I knew I could eventually get you to say yes. And as I recall it was the first time I told you how I felt about you" Steve replied with a warm smile

Bucky smiled softly "Yes it was"

"I have never in my life known what love was until I saw you sitting in that hall by yourself with your nose buried in a book. I knew as soon as I locked eyes with you I was done for. I know some people would say it was to young of an age to know what love was...but I knew what it was when I saw you" 

Bucky blushed "Are you trying to earn brownie points with me Steve?"

"Maybe? Is is working?" Steve replied leaning over the table to steal a fry from Bucky's plate

"I couldn't say" Bucky replied softly

Steve reached out for Bucky's hand "Truthfully though Bucky...that night at the dance, I had never been so nervous in my life. I know when you finally said yes my life felt complete. And I know that even though we got some stares at that dance I could care less...the only thing at that moment that mattered to me that night was you" 

"Steve" Bucky whispered softly

"I have never and will never love anyone like I love you. I didn't come just to visit you Bucky" Steve replied softly

"I don't understand" Bucky said confused his nerves nearly getting the best of him

"I came because I wanted you to come back home with me. Give me a second chance Buck please" Steve replied softly

"Steve I told you I can't. I'm married" Bucky replied softly

Steve sighed.

"What? You think it's that easy. You think that I can just leave my life here and just divorce my husband and run off with you" Bucky replied sternly

"Yes because I know you still love me" Steve replied firmly

"Damn it you know I still do...but I found someone else because I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me anymore" Bucky replied softly

"Well I do" Steve replied quickly

"Look Steve can we please just let this go. Let's just have a nice night and leave it at that okay" Bucky replied faintly

Steve sighed "I'm sorry Bucky. It's just being with you like this and seeing you just makes me want you with me even more. But I can respect your decision and I apologize" 

"Thank you. Look would you mind if ordered something to take to Gavin. He's been working almost all day and well I'm sure he's pretty hungry...so would you mind if we take him something to eat" Bucky replied trying to lighten the mood.

Steve smiled "Sure no problem"

Steve looked over at Bucky sitting in his passenger seat and smiled "Doesn't this feel just like old times . You know when I would pick you up and we would just go to the movies or just enjoy watching the sunset at the park"

"Jesus...we were the cheesiest teenage couple ever weren't we" Bucky replied with a chuckle

Steve couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter and soon Bucky followed "I guess we were...but I enjoyed every minuet of the cheesiness" 

"You would say that" Bucky replied with a smirk

"Why you didn't enjoy our time together?" Steve asked with a huge smile

"I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Here just turn here and it's the first building on the right" Bucky replied pointing out the turn

Steve turned off the car and watched as Bucky unbuckled his belt "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No its okay just wait for me right here and I'll be real quick" Bucky replied as he got out of the car and made his way through the front doors of the building.

Steve sighed "You really screwed up...you were an idiot not to come back to him like you promised. And now that you have the chance you can't...maybe you should just let him go he's happy let him be happy"

"But I can't...I just can't I love him way to much to let him go again" the voice in Steve's head answered

"Are you sure? He said that you called him to come back to work. What do you mean he never showed up?" Bucky asked confused

"I'm sorry Buck...but its the truth no one ever called him in and no one called in today. Everyone showed up as they were scheduled" a woman at the front office replied

"Okay well thanks Brenda" Bucky replied as he turned to walk away

"Hey sweetie the food" Brenda said holding out the bag for Bucky to take

"Keep it it's on me" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"Aww thank you" Brenda replied with a smile

With that Bucky walked out of the building and walked back to Steve's rental.

"What did he say? Was he surprised?" Steve asked softly

"He didn't say anything?" Bucky replied with a lost expression not even making eye contact with Steve

"What? I don't understand" Steve replied confused

Bucky didn't respond and that concerned Steve.

Steve reached out at placed a finger under Bucky's chin to make him face him "Buck what happen?"

"They said he never showed up. That he was never called in and that everyone showed up like they were supposed to. He lied. Why would he lie?" Bucky replied confused his voice almost pained

"I don't know...but we are going to find out alright. I'm sure whatever the reason it can't be bad...don't think negative alright" Steve replied as he caressed Bucky's face

Bucky smiled "Alright. Look let's just go see if we can find him and back to my place"

"Sure thing babe" Steve replied as he turned over the engine

Bucky was in shock. It was not like Gavin to lie...ever.


	8. Not Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fresh out of work update ;)

"Hey don't worry. I'm sure he has a reason for what's going on alright" Steve replied as he followed behind Bucky down the hall leading towards his apartment

"I know...it's just he's not one to lie" Bucky replied softly

Bucky was about to place his key in the lock until he heard a voice come from the inside. Bucky pulled back his key and gave Steve a nervous glance.

"What? What's the matter?" Steve asked concerned

"I heard a voice from inside" Bucky replied softly

Steve gave a serious stare and moved in front of Bucky "Give me the key and stay here babe"

"Steve no. What if something happens to you...don't be stupid" Bucky replied firmly

"Don't worry okay. As long as your safe that's all that matters. So give me the keys" Steve replied firmly

Bucky hesitated but handed the keys over to Steve. Steve placed the keys in the lock and opened the door slowly.

"Let me check it out first okay" Steve whispered to Bucky

Bucky simply shook his head in response.

Steve walked in and was met with an empty living room. Slowly he scanned the kitchen and made his way towards the room down the hall which he could only assume was the bedroom. Steve placed his hand on the knob and then quickly pulled it away when he heard a voice from the inside. Steve took in a deep breath and quickly as if to get it over with Steve opened the door.

"SHIT" a voice said loudly

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Steve said with a studded look on his face

"Wait let me explain. Wait" Gavin said as he rushed off the bed

There was Gavin in bed with another man. No wonder he rushed out so quickly and didn't show up to work. Why because he was fucking around with some other guy behind Bucky's back.

Steve walked out of the apartment "We should leave" 

Bucky gave Steve a confused look "What? Why? What happen?"

"Nothing...can we please just go" Steve pleaded as he tried to push Bucky to move but he kept his feet planted firmily

"Oh for fuck's sake I'll find out on my own" Bucky replied as he pushed by Steve and walked into the apartment to be met with the sight of his half naked husband and another man standing behind him

"What the fuck? "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" Bucky yelled out in anger

"He's no one baby...just" Gavin was cut off

"If he's no one then why is he fucking here?" Bucky asked angrily 

"Look...it's just...just" Gavin stumbled with his words

Bucky smirked "What's your name?"

"Me" the man behind Gavin replied

"No the other idiot behind you. Yeah you" Bucky replied with a glare

Steve couldn't help but bit his lip to hold back a small chuckle

"My...my name is Ethan" Ethan replied his voice breaking

"And who are you Ethan?" Bucky asked calmly 

"I'm...I'm a friend of Gavin's" Ethan replied softly

"A friend. I don't think friends fuck each other do they Steve?" Bucky asked his back turned towards Steve

Steve bit his lip "I don't think so...unless they were something more"

"How long has this been going on?" Bucky asked his voice cold and calm

"Look baby it meant nothing...it's just you've been so busy with work and you've just been a little distant and..." Gavin once again was cut off

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE ANSWER THE QUESTION" Bucky yelled out 

Steve jumped. He's seen Bucky upset but this was a whole different side of him.

Gavin couldn't respond and only hung his head in shame.

"How long Ethan?" Bucky asked softly

Ethan looked at Gavin "I've been seeing Gavin for almost 5 months"

Bucky chuckled "5 months...did you hear that Steve. My husband has been having an affair behind my back for 5 months"

Steve gave Bucky a sad expression "Buck maybe we should go"

"I don't want to" Bucky replied softly

"Buck please come on. We don't need to stay here" Steve replied 

"I SAID NO" Bucky yelled out

Bucky walked up to Gavin "How could you do this to me? I gave you everything...I let down my guard because I thought you were different. I thought you loved me...how could you hurt me like this. We vowed to love each other"

"Baby please listen...I know I screwed up but it's just things between me and you have changed. It seems that work is more important to you than our marriage" Gavin replied softly

"So I deserve this just because I work so much. Instead of coming to me and trying to talk to me about it...you cheat on me" Bucky replied sadly

"Babe please" Gavin said reaching out for Bucky

"Go fuck yourself. Bucky pulled off his wedding ring and threw it as Ethan

"You want him...well now he's all yours" Bucky replied as he turned his back and rushed out of his apartment

Steve gave one last look at Gavin and Ethan and rushed out to catch up to Bucky.

"Bucky wait...Bucky come one wait" Steve said catching Bucky by the forearm

"No let me go" Bucky replied angrily as he pulled his arm out of Steve's grip

"No please listen" Steve replied softly

"No...I just...I just" Bucky whispered and soon broke into tears

"Oh Buck don't cry...please" Steve whispered pulling Bucky flush against him 

Bucky buried his face in Steve's chest "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you babe" Steve replied sadly

"Then how come this keeps happening to me? I mean how come no-one wants me" Bucky cried

Steve lifted Bucky's face by placing his finger under his chin "Hey...don't ever say that. He may not want you...but I do. I always have"

Bucky cried and then placed his lips on Steve's 

Steve broke the kiss "Come let's get out of here"

Bucky sniffed softly and followed behind Steve.


	9. Take Me Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such A Lovely Day Out ;)

Bucky laid his body back on Steve's hotel bed and tried his best not to let the tears run down his face but it was impossible.

"Bucky are you okay?" Steve asked sitting on the edge of the bed and slowly moving a strand of hair out of Bucky's face

"I thought I was doing everything right this time. I thought that maybe this time it would be different...I guess I was wrong?" Bucky replied softly as the tears slowly began to roll down his cheeks

"You did nothing wrong. He was the one who fucked up and he is the one too stupid to realize he's got a wonderful guy" Steve replied softly

Bucky locked eyes with Steve's "Steve am I being a hypocrite here?"

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked confused

"I'm saying should I really be upset about him sleeping with someone else when I did the same thing with you. I mean we did have sex after we bumped into each other at the convention" Bucky replied looking up at Steve

"You slept with me once. He's been cheating on you for 5 months and never told you" Steve replied with cocked eyebrow

"I never told him about us Steve. I couldn't" Bucky replied softly

"I know...and I understand" Steve replied softly

Bucky sighed softly "Maybe I should talk to him" 

"You should but I think you guys should just give each other some space for right now" Steve replied softly

Bucky raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to keep me here Steve?"

Steve flushed "No...I don't know...okay yes. But in no way shape or form am I forcing you from trying to fix things with your husband. I can't force you to do something that you don't want to"

Bucky smiled sadly "My husband...hmm after today I don't think my husband wants me anymore"

"Don't say that alright...just...let's talk about something else. Hell let's go somewhere" Steve replied with a soft smile

"Go where?" Bucky asked with a warm smile

A few minuets later Steve and Bucky found themselves in a small quite coffee shop.

"Feeling better?" Steve asked as he watched Bucky sip his coffee

"A little. Look thank you for letting me stay with you tonight and for being there for me" Bucky replied softly

"Bucky you know that I will always be there for you...you know how much you mean to me" Steve replied reaching out for Bucky's hand

"I'm really sorry that you had to see me like that at my apartment. I guess you didn't imagine your trip here being like this" Bucky replied softly

"As long as your around me I could care less. And besides seeing so angry is kinda sexy" Steve replied with a wink

Bucky smirked "Why am I not surprised you would say something like that"

Steve was about to lean over and kiss Bucky until Bucky's cell went off.

Bucky looked up at Steve "It's Gavin"

"Are you going to answer it?" Steve asked softly

"Yeah...you don't mind do you?" Bucky asked softly

"A little" Steve's inner voice said

"No not at all. Go ahead" Steve replied with a soft smile

Bucky inhaled a deep breath and answered the phone "Hello"

"I'm out with Steve. Why are you calling me Gavin" Bucky answered faintly

"Apologize? Gavin you've been seeing another man behind my back and you thinking saying a simple I'm sorry is going to fix it" Bucky replied sternly

"I see...so this is what you want?" Bucky replied his voice surprisingly calm

"No just don't. I mean why would you have to explain yourself to me...I mean you didn't even bother to tell me that you were seeing someone else. Look I can't do this with you right now Gavin...so I guess I'll just talk to you later" Bucky replied and hung up

"Is everything alright?" Steve asked softly

"Gavin...Gavin thinks we should get a divorce" Bucky whispered softly

"Shit...Bucky I'm sorry" Steve replied in shock

"Guess I should have seen that coming. I mean it is my fault after all right? I mean it's my fault that everyone just winds up leaving me?" Bucky replied as he got up from his seat and rushed out of the coffee shop

Steve sighed "Fuck"

Steve got up with Bucky who was standing outside by the coffee shop "I really wish you would stop blaming yourself for everyone else's fuck ups. There is nothing wrong with you alright. It's just your husband is too stupid to realize what he has and I was a fucking idiot to let you go. Plain and simple...so stop fucking blaming yourself"

Bucky didn't say a word and hung his head sadly

"I want you to come back home with me Bucky. Even if it's just for a little while...I want you to come with me" Steve whispered softly

Bucky looked up at Steve "Okay I will"

Steve gave a surprised look "Wait did you just...say that again so I can make sure I heard right"

Bucky smiled softly "I said yes. I'll go back with you...just take me away from here even if it's just for a little while"

Steve smiled and took Bucky's hand "Well then we should get to packing"


	10. Here We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Had To Get Another Story Out Of My System

"Well this is it. It's no mansion...but I love it" Steve said shutting the door behind him

Bucky smiled "It's nice...seems very comfy"

Bucky walked into the living room and set his bags down "So...umm...where will I be staying? You know...do you have like a guest room or should I stay here in the living room?"

Steve smirked "I didn't bring you all the way over here to have you stay in the living room. And as far as a guest room...I don't have one. So it seems that you'll be rooming with me"

Bucky eyes grew wide "Steve...I...I can't do that"

"Oh come on Buck. It's not like we haven't shared a bed before" Steve replied with a wink

Bucky was about to open his mouth until he heard a noise. It sounded like jingling coming closer.

Bucky locked eyes with Steve in question "Do you hear that?"

Steve smiled "Unfortunately yes...I do"

It was then that Bucky turned to see a huge Saint Bernard standing in the kitchen. The dog took a step closer and Bucky tensed up.

"Don't worry this big doofus won't hurt a fly" Steve replied with a smile

The dog barked and Steve laughed "I'm just teasing Argo...come here"

Without hesitation Argo ran right up to Steve and jumped up placing his huge paws on Steve's shoulders and began licking Steve.

"I know I missed you too. Listen I want you to meet someone okay" Steve said as Argo jumped down 

Steve grabbed Argo by his bright red collar and walked him over to Bucky.

"This is Bucky. He's a very important person to me okay...so be nice and say hello" Steve said with a smile

Bucky gave a nervous smile and before Bucky could react Argo jumped and knocked Bucky down to the ground landing on his behind.

"Oh wow" Bucky replied as Argo licked Bucky's entire face and whimpered like a small puppy.

"Well it's nice to meet you too Argo. You are very beautiful" Bucky replied with a smile

"Argo come on...be nice" Steve said pulling Argo off Bucky.

Bucky chuckled "It's okay...he's very sweet"

Steve smiled and helped Bucky up from the floor "Umm I should let you...you know unpack"

"Okay...well yeah. It was nice meeting you Argo" Bucky said softly

"Umm the first room upstairs is my room. You can just put your stuff where ever you like" Steve said as he pet Argo

"Okay...thanks" Bucky replied with a smile as he made his way upstairs and out of Steve's view

Steve looked down at Argo who's tongue was hanging out "I saw him first okay. Come on...let's get you something to eat doofus"

Bucky set his bags down in Steve's bedroom and let out a deep sigh. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

Bucky looked around and smiled when his eyes caught sight of a framed picture on Steve's nightstand

"Wow this one is old" Bucky thought

In the picture was Steve and Bucky making faces and kissing in a photo booth. Bucky smiled seeing the pictures...they were young and in love. Bucky didn't care that people would say that they were only teenagers and they didn't know what love was. Bucky knew though...everytime he was around Steve it was like the world stopped and they were the only two people in existence.

"That picture got me through all of bad days" Steve said softly

Bucky turned and smiled softly "I can't believe you still have this"

"Of course I would. You know I would never get rid of it...or anything that you've given to me when we were together" Steve replied with a smile 

Bucky didn't say a word and placed the picture down on the nightstand.

Steve walked up to Bucky and took his hand in his.

"I know that there is nothing that I can say or do that can make what I did okay. Because what I did was not okay...I hurt you Bucky when I promised you that I would never hurt you. I just...I messed up okay. I broke your heart and I'm sorry...but I have never stopped loving you. There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you..how you were and what you were doing. Were you happy...or were you thinking of me too" 

Bucky looked away "I always thought about you Steve. Day and night I thought about you...mostly about what I did wrong? Why did you leave me? It doesn't matter now...it's the past right?

Steve frowned "It matters to me Bucky"

Bucky locked eyes with Steve. Steve inched closer...his lips inches away from Bucky until a loud bark scared them apart.

"Really Argo?" Steve groaned out

Bucky chuckled softly.

"Listen how about I take you out tonight. We can have some dinner and I don't know what ever else you want"

Bucky smirked "Are you asking me out on a date Steve Rogers"

"Are you going to say yes" Steve asked with a smile

Bucky smirked "Yes"

Steve smiled "Well then yes"

Bucky sighed softly "Alright. Well let me finish unpacking"

"Alright. Let's go Argo" Steve said as he walked out the door with Argo in front of him

Steve looked down at Argo "You couldn't come in at a better time there pal"

Argo barked loudly 

Steve rolled his eyes "Yeah yeah whatever"


	11. Well That Came Out Of Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Hell Its been a while. Reason for me missing...my lovely son decided my laptop was a Frisbee and well you know the rest. But my awesome hubby saved up and bought me a new one...soooo I'm back. Anywho let's get to this very long awaited update

Steve couldn't help but keep his eyes locked on Bucky. Everything about him was so damn breathtaking...God he was an idiot to let him go. 

"I really don't feel comfortable with you staring at me like that while I'm stuffing my face with food" Bucky replied lifting his fork to his lips

"Sorry but I just can't help it Buck. You just look so damn beautiful" Steve replied with a soft smile

Bucky blushed "Will you knock it off already"

Steve laughed softly "I'll try. So how are you holding up after...well you know"

Bucky smiled softly "I don't know. I mean...the best I can I suppose. I mean I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurting by Gavin wanting a divorce...but somehow...being here with you makes me feel a little better. So...thank you for that"

"I love you Bucky" Steve replied taking Bucky's hand in his

Bucky felt his heart flutter. Those words always meant so much more coming from Steve.

"I love you too"

After their dinner date Steve and Bucky made their way back to Steve's home where Argo was patiently waiting by the door. As soon as they walked in Argo barked loudly and jumped up onto Bucky's shoulders seeing as he was the first one to walk into the door.

Buck chuckled "Guess we took to long"

"Eh he'll live" Steve smiled as he reached out for Bucky and placed his strong hands on his waist. 

Bucky shivered in delight as he felt Steve grip onto him tighter and pull him close.

"You trying to make a move Rogers?" Bucky asked with a cocked eyebrow

"I'm not trying anything...I'm doing it" Steve replied as he placed his lips on Bucky's

Bucky moaned into the kiss and then smiled into the kiss upon hearing Argo whimper. 

"I don't think Argo likes to share" Bucky whispered softly

Steve looked down to see Argo looking up at him with huge puppy eyes.

"He'll have to get used to it"

Bucky smiled as Steve took his hand and led him to his bedroom. 

"Sorry Argo...but we need a little alone time" Steve replied with a soft smile as he patted Argo on his head

Argo barked loudly 

"You'll live" Steve cried out as he shut the door behind him

Bucky chuckled softly as Steve pulled him flush against him. His chest pressed right up against him made him feel that all to familiar feeling all over his body.

Steve kissed Bucky's forehead and sighed softly "I was an idiot to let you go Buck"

"Yeah you were...but look...here we are" Bucky whispered softly

"No I mean it Bucky...I really am sorry for how I left things. I'm sorry for hurting you and I'm sorry for everything that you are going thru now. If I would have just gotten my head out of my ass...things would be different" Steve replied moving a strand of hair from Bucky's face.

Bucky smiled softly "Maybe...but...oh well right"

"You know when I saw you again at that convention...it was like...I don't know falling in love all over again. You my world Bucky...you always have been and always will be" Steve replied placing a kiss on Bucky's cheek

Bucky smirked "You...are...such...a cheeseball"

Steve laughed "Shut up"

Bucky laughed "Well...it's tr___"

Bucky was cut off by Steve's lips once again finding his in a passionate kiss. Bucky felt his knees buckle...what was it about one touch or kiss from this man that made everything else seem meaningless. Bucky lifted his arms and laced them around Steve's neck.

Steve walked backwards until he fell back onto his bed with Bucky right atop of him. Bucky looked down at Steve and smiled softly.

"Fucking beautiful" Steve whispered softly

Bucky glared "Potty mouth"

Steve pulled Bucky down and kissed him hungrily "Shut up"

After a full on make out session Steve and Bucky soon found themselves under the sheets once again. Bucky writhing below Steve in sheer ecstasy while Steve's breath coming in ragged as he tried his best to hold out so Bucky could feel nothing less then every height of passion.

"Fuck Bucky...everytime I'm inside you feels like the first time" Steve groaned out thrusting into Bucky

Bucky only replied with rambling and moans of pleasure as he gripped onto to Steve for dear life. His legs wrapped around Steve's strong waist as he clawed at his back feeling Steve hit his very core.

"Oh...Steve...I'm so close...Fuck" Bucky cried out 

"Me too...come for me baby" Steve groaned out as he thrust into Bucky the only sound was their breathing and the backboard hitting the wall.

"OHH GOD" Bucky cried out as he came all over Steve's toned stomach and felt his body go limp 

Steve wasn't quite there yet "Say something"

Bucky looked up at Steve" What"

"Well...I kinda...need a little help" Steve replied still thrusting into Steve

"Oh...Ohh" Bucky replied getting the hint 

Bucky then lifted his lips to Steve's ear and whispered nothing but the dirtiest things he could think of to urge Steve along

"ohh fuck..ohh fuck Bucky I love you" Steve moaned out he was so close

"I love you too baby" Bucky moaned out

"BUCKY...FUCK...MARRY ME" Steve cried out as he finally came deep inside Bucky

Bucky's eyes grew wide "What did you just say?"

Steve lifted his tired head "I said marry me"

Bucky couldn't speak...it was like everything in the world just stopped. Was this really happening?


	12. What's That Word Again...Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update...because I can

Bucky gently shoved Steve off and quickly slid on a pair of pajama pants he left hanging on a chair nearby.

"What's the matter?" Steve asked sitting up in bed still in all his beautiful nakedness

"Are you kidding me? I mean come on Steve?" Bucky replied rolling his eyes

Steve gave a confused glance "I'm not kidding anyone. I mean what did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong...can you...can you please cover up" Bucky replied looking away a little flustered 

Steve grabbed his boxers off the floor and slid them on "Better?"

"Thank you" Bucky replied softly

"So can you please tell me now what the matter is?" Steve asked softly walking up to Bucky

Bucky sighed softly "Steve...what you asked me. I mean...how can you ask me that given the circumstances that I'm going thru" 

"I see nothing wrong with what I said. And I meant what I said...I love you Bucky and I want you to be mine forever" Steve replied strongly

"Steve...I'm not even divorced yet and you are asking me to marry you already" Bucky replied sternly 

"So...I mean don't you love me?" Steve asked softly

"You know that I do...but I mean come on Steve. Don't you think that's a little to...I don't know sudden?" Bucky replied biting his lower lip

"Bucky we've loved each other for so long. I mean why shouldn't we get married?" Steve replied lacing his hands with Bucky's

Slowly Bucky unlaced their hands and hung his head low "Because Steve...at one point in our lives we didn't. Or did you already forget that you left me and didn't communicate with me for years"

Steve inhaled a deep breath "Bucky...I..."

"Maybe it was a mistake coming here. Maybe I should have just stayed home" Bucky replied sadly

"No Bucky...don't think that...I mean...ple___" Steve was cut off by Bucky placing his hand on Steve's chest and kissed his cheek sweetly

"I don't belong here Steve and it's okay. I'll stay for tonight...but I'll stay on the couch and I think it would be best if I left first thing in the morning" Bucky replied softly

"But I don't want you to leave. Look can we just forge I said anything" Steve pleaded softly

Bucky smiled and kissed Steve sweetly "Goodnight Steve"

Steve watched as Bucky walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Steve plopped down onto his bed and groaned out "Fuck me"

It was then that Argo barked loudly making Steve jump.

"Yeah yeah I know...I'm an idiot"


	13. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo...had time to sit down relax and update

Steve awoke to the smell of coffee being made lingering the air. Slowly getting up and get out of bed he made his way to the kitchen to find Bucky with his hair pulled back into a small ponytail petting Argo with one hand and holding coffee in the other. 

"I don't think he wants you to go either" Steve said softly 

Bucky looked up and smiled softly "Good morning. I was just having some coffee before I go...I hope you don't mind"

Steve walked up to Bucky and locked eyes with his. God damn those damn beautiful eyes of his always made Steve feel like nothing else in the world mattered when he looked into those eyes.

"Buck...please don't leave. I truly am sorry about the other night. It's just...I got excited and well having you back with me makes me feel...I just don't know how to describe it. I do love you and I won't lie would love nothing more to call you mine for the rest of my life...but if I took you by surprise by asking that. Well I truly am sorry"

Bucky chewed on his lower lip gently "It's okay...I just got scared that's all. Although I still think I should go back home."

Steve pouted and laced his hand with Bucky's free hand. Bucky looked away.

"Don't you dare look at me like that" Bucky groaned out all of a sudden feeling that huge wave of guilt

"Don't...go...please" Steve begged pulling Bucky closer and burying his nose in the crook of Bucky's neck. Inhaling his very scent that drove him crazy.

"I can't believe you are guilt tripping me right now" Bucky scoffed

"Is it working?" Steve muffled out his face still buried in Bucky's neck.

Bucky rolled his eyes and mouthed "Fuck"

Finally after a moments pause Bucky caved

"I hate when you do that to me. I hated when you did it when we were dating and I hate that you do that now"

Steve grinned and looked at Bucky "But...you still...love me"

Bucky rolled his eyes and smirked "Not like I have a choice"

Steve gave an insulted glare "Wow...conceited much"

Bucky smirked and was about to open his mouth to speak until his cell phone went off. Bucky pulled out his phone and looked down at the screen then back at Steve with a nervous expression.

"It's Gavin" Bucky whispered softly

"Ignore it" Steve replied pulling Bucky into his arms again.

"I can't...I have to. Technically his is still my husband" Bucky replied softly

Steve hated when Bucky would say that. It hit a nerve inside him that just annoyed the crap out of him.

Steve sighed "Well...I'm not going to stop you"

Bucky frowned as he watched Steve walk away and plop himself on the couch and left him alone in the kitchen to answer the call.

Bucky inhaled a deep breath and finally answered "Hello"

Gavin replied softly "Thank you for answering me"

"Well I wasn't planning to but...I guess I'm not a big of a jerk like you are" Bucky retorted 

Gavin sighed "I guess I deserve that. Look can we please talk about everything"

Bucky groaned "What is there to talk about. You cheated on me. You want a divorce...what else is there left to say"

"Why did you leave home?" Gavin asked softly

"Why do you care" Bucky asked annoyed

"Regardless of everything that has happened doesn't mean that I stopped caring. I do still love you babe" Gavin replied sternly

Bucky chuckled in amusement "Really now. So love to you is having an affair behind my back and then me finding out about it...while I have company visiting. Oh and then asking me for a divorce after being busted because I quote "Stopped paying attention to you because I'm so busy working" 

"Look I made a mistake. I miss you and well I dumped him" Gavin replied softly

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asked confused

"Ethan...I broke it off with him" Gavin replied 

"And you are telling because?" Bucky replied rolling his eyes

"Because you are my one and only baby. I made a mistake...I fucked up and I realize that. And I want to know if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance" Gavin replied softly on the verge of tears

Bucky could feel his heart racing and his mind rumbling with a million thoughts. Bucky looked over to see Steve sitting on the couch playing with Argo as he laughed.

"I...I don't know Gavin. I just...I have to go" Bucky replied nervously

"Why? I mean...look can you at least think on it please. I know its alot to asking but please" Gavin replied softly

Bucky sighed softly "I...I will. I'll talk to you some other time alright"

"I love you" Gavin whispered softly 

Bucky didn't say a word and just hung up. Bucky placed his phone on the kitchen counter and walked over to Steve.

Steve saw the exasperated look on Bucky's face and stood from the couch and caressed his face "Are you okay? What did he say?"

"Nothing. I really don't want to talk about it. Look Steve...how long would you let me stay here with you?" Bucky asked softly

Steve was a bit surprised by that question but smiled softly "As long as you want babe. Forever if I had it my way"

Bucky chuckled "Well then...I wouldn't mind staying longer. I don't think I'm ready to go home just yet"

"I have no problem with that at all" Steve replied catching Bucky's lips in a passionate kiss

Bucky opened his eyes to watch Steve. God he loved Steve so much...there was no question about it. But Gavin was still his husband and Bucky believed everyone deserved a second chance. What was he going to do? The last thing he wanted to do was break anyone's heart.


	14. Decisions Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After Work Update

Bucky kept his gaze locked on the window in Steve's living room taking in all the beautiful night lights.

"Something on your mind babe?" Steve asked breaking Bucky out of his thoughts

"Just thinking about stuff" Bucky replied with a nervous smile

"Oh yeah? What kind of stuff?" Steve asked scooting over closer to Bucky on the couch

"Must you always be so nosy?" Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow as he moved a strand of hair from his face.

"Yeah...I do" Steve smiled leaning in closer his face inches away from Bucky's

Bucky could feel his heart racing as Steve's lips were a few mere inches away. Then just went Steve was about to place his lips on Bucky's by strange surprise Bucky pulled away from the kiss and gave a nervous chuckle.

Steve gave a confused look "Something wrong?"

Bucky cleared his throat "Um no. Why do you ask"

Steve cocked his head to the side "Because I just tried to kiss you and you backed away. You've never done that before"

Bucky bit his lower lip "Oh really? I'm sorry I didn't notice"

Steve scoffed. One of his pet peeves was when people acted dumb when he was trying to be serious. 

"You...you didn't notice. Are you kidding me right now? Bucky you know I love you but please don't play dumb with me because you aren't very good at it"

Bucky raised his eyebrow in response "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. If you didn't want me to kiss you all you had to do was tell me. You don't have to leave me hanging looking stupid and having me wonder" Steve replied scooting away from Bucky

Bucky scoffed "What? Does it bother you now just because I didn't want to kiss you. Do I have to tell you everything like I'm a freaking five year old"

Steve was taken aback by Bucky's tone "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing alright...just...ugh leave me alone" Bucky replied as he got up from the couch and walked towards Steve's bedroom. 

Steve sat there for a moment and decided to walk to the bedroom to talk to Bucky. Steve inhaled a deep breath and opened the door to find Bucky sitting on his bed his head buried under a pillow.

Steve smiled softly "Are you going to uncover your face or am I going to be talking to a pillow this whole entire time"

Bucky sighed and removed the pillow.

"Good. Now...what was that all about?" Steve asked softly

Bucky didn't say a word and remained silent

"Well?" Steve urged on 

"I...I've just been thinking about alot and I guess I got a little...I don't know overwhelmed and I didn't mean to lash out on you" Bucky replied on the verge of tears

Steve smiled softly "Look if you need to get something off your chest you know you can tell me babe. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't talk to me"

Bucky smiled softly "I'm so sorry"

"It's alright. It just took me by surprise that's all. So is there anything you want to tell me now that this has been cleared out" Steve asked lacing his hand with Bucky's 

Bucky fought with the voice in his head "Just tell him...he'll understand. No don't tell him...it will break his heart and you know you can't bare to live with that guilt" 

Steve kept his gaze locked on Bucky "Baby?"

Bucky smiled softly "No...I'm okay. Again I really am sorry...I never meant for that to happen."

Steve smiled and once again leaned in to kiss Bucky. Bucky gave a soft smile as he allowed Steve to kiss him sweetly.

"I love you...okay" Steve whispered softly placing his forehead on Bucky's

Bucky gave a weak smile "I love you too"

*Later that same day*  
Bucky turned over in bed and locked his eyes on Steve's sleeping frame. He looked so peaceful...they had just finished making love and like always it was amazing. But for some reason Bucky just couldn't shake the guilt that came washing over him. Why all of a sudden did he feel so guilty. 

"Maybe because you are still married and your husband is asking for a second chance. And here you are sleeping with another man being a hypocrite" Bucky thought to himself

Bucky sighed softly and got out of bed slowly so he wouldn't wake Steve and slid on his pajama bottoms. Bucky quietly out of Steve's bedroom and into the kitchen where he smiled at Argo's huge sleeping frame.

"Guess it's true the dogs are like their owners" Bucky thought smirking to himself

Bucky walked to over to his satchel that was hanging off the chair by the kitchen table and pulled out his cell phone. Looking through his contacts his found Gavin's number...Bucky was about to push the call button but something was stopping him.

"Fuck fuck" Bucky cursed to himself

"Why the fuck me? Why?" Bucky whispered to himself

"Just call him...it's the right thing to do" the voice inside his head started again

"No what about Steve. Everything has been going so well" another voice said

"But Steve isn't your husband" another voice chimed in

Bucky plopped himself on the couch with phone still gripped in his hands "For fuck's sake grow a set...be a man"

Bucky placed his finger back on the call button and felt his heart jump into his throat. 

"Shit" Bucky groaned out and tossed his phone on the side of the couch.

Why did this have to be so damn hard?

Bucky brought his knees up to his chest and began to cry.

He had to make a choice. And he had to figure it out soon and this would break him apart.


	15. Sometimes...it's just so hard to explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there...been working on other projects  
> But thought it was time to update this one  
> I missed it (-8

Steve awoke the next morning to find he was alone in bed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Slipping into a pair of black pajama bottoms Steve knocked on the bathroom door. 

"Babe? Are you in there? I kinda have to go?" Steve said tapping on the door lightly 

"Babe?"

Nothing. No response. Steve found that odd and slowly placed his hand on the bathroom door and opened it. It was empty. No Bucky. That's when the panic set in. Where the hell could he be? 

"He's in the kitchen. He has to be" Steve assured himself as he walked into the kitchen only to be slapped in the face with the same emptiness. It was then that Steve caught sight of a yellow vehicle in his driveway. 

"The fuck?" Steve whispered it was then that Bucky appeared with some of his luggage in hand as he began to place it in the trunk of the vehicle. It then clicked on Steve...Bucky was leaving and didn't even have the balls to tell him so or at least explain why. He was just going to run away. Steve rushed out of his house and outside.

"Where you even going to tell me why? Or where you just going to run away and not even have the balls to say why?" Steve said sternly

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to face Steve who was standing on his porch. Bucky looked over to the cab driver and asked for a few minuets.

"I thought this way...would be easier for the both of us" Bucky replied softly walking up to Steve

"Us? Hmm I think you mean easier for you. Bucky...why? I mean I don't understand? Why would you just leave me like that?" Steve asked softly

Bucky sighed and moved a strand of hair from his face "Please Steve. Please don't make this harder then it already is. Just understand where I'm coming from. I'm still married...and well Gavin is really sorry about everything that has happened. He's my husband and I believe everyone deserves a second chance"

"That's bullshit" Steve spat back

Bucky scoffed "Really? It's bullshit and yet...I gave you a second chance. You left me and didn't contact me for years and I still took you back. I didn't have to and I did...because. Because I love you but Steve...I can't just pretend I'm not married" 

Steve didn't say a word and clenched his jaw

"I'm so sorry. Look umm I have to go. Can...can I call you later?" Bucky said softly moving a strand of hair from his face

No matter how much Steve wanted to beg him to stay...he couldn't. Bucky was his own man and he loved him so he had to support him no matter what. Even if it's something that killed him inside. 

Bucky sighed softly "Okay...well umm if you want to call me. You know I'll always answer"

Bucky then quickly placed a kiss on Steve's cheek and walked away.

Steve watched as Bucky got into the cab and drove off. And just like that...Steve felt his heart break. He swore he could even feel the pain.

*Few Weeks Later*  
Bucky pulled his hair back into a small ponytail and shut his eyes once he was done. It was then Bucky felt an arm wrap around his waist and a set of lips kiss his exposed neck sweetly. Bucky sighed into the touch and pictured Steve behind him with a crooked smile on his face. 

"Have I told you how freaking beautiful you are babe?" Gavin said in a deep velvet tone

Bucky's eyes flew open and he turned to face Gavin with a weak smile "Almost everyday. I think you are just being modest and telling me what I want to hear so you can just try to get me to go to bed with you again"

Gavin shrugged "Not at all"

Bucky cocked an eyebrow "I wasn't born yesterday"

Gavin pulled Bucky into his arm and hugged him possessively "You don't know how happy I am that you came back to me. That you gave me another chance. I know I fucked up and I am going to work hard everyday to make up for that mistake. You are my world babe"

Bucky smiled softly "Well let's just take things slow okay. I know with time things will work themselves out"

Gavin sighed softly "Fuck I love you. I hit the jackpot when I married you...I've just been to stupid to realize it. At least I know that you would never do anything like that to me and that's what makes you even more special" 

Bucky smiled nervously and shut his eyes when Gavin hugged his once more. All Bucky saw when he closed his eyes were those nights he had with Steve. Nights filled with unrequited love and adoration. Nights filled with nothing but passion.

It was then that both Bucky and Gavin jumped when they heard their doorbell ring. 

"I"ll get it babe" Gavin said as he walked of the bedroom leaving Bucky alone.

Bucky walked to the bed and plopped himself onto it pulling up his legs to sit Indian style. Few minuets passed and Gavin was still at the door Bucky could hear voices and then he heard Gavin.

"Yeah he's in the bedroom. Feel free to man...sure he doesn't mind"

Bucky perked up hearing footsteps approaching until the footsteps stopped at the bedroom door. Bucky watched as the door knob turned slowly and then he felt his breath leave him.

"Hey" he said with a soft tone

Bucky felt his body go numb "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you?" he replied weakly

Bucky felt his eyes well up with tears "Oh Steve. You shouldn't have come here"


	16. Comment as-tu pu me blesser comme ça?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French Title...well because I can  
> And well I've been teaching a friend of mine French  
> I've known French since my middle school years  
> Anywho...on to the update

"I had to Bucky. I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I miss you" 

Bucky looked away. He could feel the anger...his face warm with it.

"You shouldn't have come here. Why can't you just leave well enough alone. I told you why I had to leave...why can't you respect that" 

"I'm sorry. I just...I just couldn't. Being without you is just to hard" Steve replied sadly

"You've been without me for years. I'm sure you can handle it" Bucky replied standing up from his bed

Steve watched as Bucky walked passed him and out of the bedroom. Gavin noticed Bucky looking rather frustrated as he walked into the kitchen.

"Is everything alright babe?" Gavin asked softly

"Everything is fine" Bucky replied moving a strand of hair from his face

"Buck. Please" Steve said as he finally made his way into the kitchen

"You should go now Steve. Please" Bucky whispered softly setting his cup of coffee down

"But he just got here. That's no way to treat a guest let alone your friend" Gavin replied with a smile

"For fuck's sake" Bucky huffed out

"Listen. Is everything truly alright? I've never seen you act like this before. Well other than that time you...yeah" Gavin said trailing off at the end of the sentence

"I think it's about time he knows the truth...friend" Steve said softly his face looking so broken

Bucky perked up "I don't think so. Now please just go...Steve. I promise we will talk some other time...just the two of us"

"Truth about what" Gavin asked softly

Bucky chuckled nervously "Nothing. It's not something you need to worry about"

Steve sighed softly "Buck"

Bucky shook his head "Stop talking"

"What the hell is going on?" Gavin asked his voice stern

Bucky looked over to Gavin. His face showed hurt and regret for what he was about to say.

"Gavin. You know that I love you with all of my heart. There are some things I haven't told you because I felt...they were things that I really didn't feel needed to be brought up again for my own personal reasons. When I meet you I was a wreck...you know that. I never told you why because it hurt to talk about it. That was a part of my life I'd rather just forget"

Gavin didn't say a word and just listened.

"Steve...fuck. Steve isn't just my friend. He's also my ex...we were together for years. I loved him...I...still love him"

Gavin was taken aback by that confession. His face read one of shock as he looked over to Steve who was chewing on his lower lip nervously.

"Why couldn't you just tell me that?" Gavin asked firmly

"I don't know...because it hurt so much when he left me. It was just something I didn't want to relive again so I held that information away and locked it away with a little piece of me that never healed"

"Is there anything else I should know" Gavin asked softly

Bucky and Steve just looked at each other.

"Well?" Gavin asked sternly

"Well...I__" Bucky was cut off by Gavin holding his hand up

"I don't want to hear it from you. I want to hear it from him" Gavin said pointing at Steve

Steve perked up "Me? Why me?"

"Why not you?" Gavin retorted with a raised eyebrow

"Gavin please...look don't put him on the spot. This is just between me and you?"

"Have you slept with him? Let me rephrase that. Have you slept with my husband aside from when you two were dating?" Gavin asked calmly 

Steve looked over to Bucky who's face begged for him to not say a word. But it was way too late.

"Yes. I have slept with your husband aside from when were dating. You hurt him by cheating on him and I was there for him. I love him with everything I have in me and when you hurt him it took everything in me to not slap the shit out of you. But Bucky isn't that kind of guy...he still loves you. When he found out you were cheating on him...he came back home with me to get away from it all and well things happened"

Gavin felt his face heat up "How could you do that to me. So what just because I cheated you wanted to get back at me?"

Bucky felt his heart break "No...no. You have to understand...I never meant for anything to happen I swear. It's just...it's just Steve and I have a history together and when we reconnected things just happened. And besides who are you to judge...I only slept with him a few times. You were cheating on me for months before I found out. I came back to fix things...I left Steve someone who I love deeply because I love you. You are my husband"

"It still doesn't make things any better. You still cheated on me. I never thought you would do that to me" Gavin replied sadly

Bucky just stood there and its then where he just had enough

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? I mean are you being serious? You are judging me because I had sex with Steve...someone who I loved long before you. While you cheated on me with some guy you only knew for a few months and they you tried to say he didn't mean damn thing to you. You know what...yes I had sex with Steve and no...I don't regret it. At least I slept with someone who meant something to me...I didn't hide Steve away. I kept things from you because I didn't want to hurt you...and in doing so I was hurting myself. And for what...I still got screwed over"

Steve watched. He was proud of Bucky for finally standing up from himself.

"I think we need to rethink this relationship Gavin"

What are you talking about?" Gavin asked confused

"I think...I want that divorce. Gavin I love you but...this will never work if we keep pointing fingers at each other" Bucky replied softly

"It's his fucking fault isn't it" Gavin said pointing at Steve

"No. It's mine...all the signs were there I just chose to ignore them but not anymore" Bucky replied softly

"So please get your things and please...just go" Bucky replied softly

Gavin set his mug down and bumped shoulders with Steve as he walked to the bedroom.

Steve walked over to Bucky "Bucky...I___"

"How could you do that to me? How could you just put me on the spot like that? I though you loved me?" Bucky asked angrily

"Bucky I'm sorry. But you know the lies had to stop" Steve replied softly

"Yes I know...but when I was ready I would tell my husband the truth. Without your help. You should go to Steve" Bucky replied sternly

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying go home Steve. You should have never come here. Just leave me alone" Bucky replied angrily

Steve inhaled a deep breath and walked to the door

"Buck...I'm sorry" Steve whispered before walking out the door and closing it behind him

Bucky sighed sadly "Me too Steve. Me too"


	17. Just Don't Know When

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a little free time for a before bed update

Months had passed. The divorce between Gavin and Bucky had been finalized. There wasn't any animosity between them...they both decided over their time apart that them breaking off the marriage was the right thing to do. Bucky had his work to focus on and Gavin focused on fixing himself before going on there to meet anyone else. Bucky told Gavin he wouldn't be angry if he began dating...in fact he wished him all the best. He had to admit he missed Gavin...mostly at nights when he was lying alone in bed and finding it hard to sleep at nights without anyone to cuddle up to.

As for Steve. He called and called but Bucky decided it was best not to answer. He just wasn't ready for that. He was still a little hurt from everything that happen the last time Steve was here. Bucky had to admit...it took everything in him not to answer his calls...but he just couldn't do it. Then the voice mails didn't make it an easier. He remembered the first one a few weeks after he left.

"Bucky? Please answer babe. I'm so sorry...I wish I could take it back. I never meant to hurt you...you know I never would. Please just answer me"

That sad and broken sigh.

"Well anyway...I just wanted to say that. And also...I love you. Goodbye Buck"

Bucky sat on his couch and flipped on the TV. He was still getting used to just hearing the sound of the TV and not Gavin's voice asking him what he wanted for dinner. Or how his day at work was. It's funny how such small trivial things could be the things you miss most. Bucky got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge Bucky reached in and pulled out a gallon of milk.

"Ugh...I really need to do the dishes" Bucky thought as he looked in his cabinet and then into the kitchen sink to find a few glasses in there.

Shrugging Bucky reached way in the back to find a mug. He pulled it out only to feel his heart feel that all to familiar sting once more. 

It was that mug. That mug that Steve had given Bucky for his anniversary. With a sad smile Bucky poured the milk into the mug and placed it back into the fridge. Bucky was about to make his way back to the couch until his cell phone went off. Bucky set his mug down and reached into his satchel pulling the phone out.

"Private? Who would be calling me private?" Bucky thought to himself

Not one to be rude Bucky slide his finger across to answer.

"Hello"

Silence on the other end

"Hello? Who is this" Bucky replied softly

Nothing once again.

"Listen whoever you are...you called me. You can at least have the balls to say something. If not...don't ever fucking call this number again" Bucky replied in annoyance

Bucky was about to hang up until he heard a faint response.

"Excuse me? Did you say something?" Bucky asked sternly

"I said...always so feisty" 

Bucky felt his heart stop

"S..Steve? Is that you?"

A soft chuckle was heard "Yeah...it's me"

Now it was Bucky's turn to be silent

"I'm sorry I called you private. It's just...if I called you like I always do. Well I know you won't answer" 

"Why are you calling me Steve?" Bucky asked faintly

"Why else? Because I miss you?" Steve replied softly

Bucky didn't say a word and just chewed on his lower lip 

"Don't you at least miss me?" Steve asked sadly

"Steve...I can't. I can't do this with you. I'm so sorry...I just need time for myself" Bucky replied softly

"Buck. It's already been a few months. Are you just going to ignore me forever. I mean come on...do I even matter" Steve asked sadly 

"Hurts doesn't it" Bucky replied sadly

"What are you talking about?" Steve replied confused

"When the shoe is on the other foot. The way you are feeling now...is exactly how I felt. All those years I didn't hear from you...that was the only thing on my mind. Don't I matter?" 

"Buck...please" Steve begged

"Goodbye Steve. Take care of yourself and maybe when I'm ready. We'll talk again" 

And with that Bucky hung up and turned off his phone. He decided he had enough with the phone calls for tonight.

*Few Weeks Later*  
Bucky inhaled a deep breath. He was shaking. Was he really doing this?

"Fuck. You can do this" Bucky assured himself

Bucky lifted his hand and extending a finger slowly towards the door bell. Exhaling a deep breath Bucky placed his finger on the bell.

Bucky could hear the bell chiming from inside and then he heard the sound of footsteps coming toward the door. Finally it opened to reveal.

Bucky felt his chest tighten "Your not Steve"


	18. Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early Morning Update

"Yeah. I'm Shaun. Um Steve went to the store real quick. He wanted to make breakfast but ran out of eggs"

Bucky stood there in silence.

"Crap where are my manners? Once again I'm Shaun. And you are?" Shaun said extending his hand

Bucky snapped out of his faze and took Shaun's hand "I'm James"

"Nice to meet you. Hey listen you are more than welcome to wait here. I'm sure Steve won't mind"

Bucky smiled nervously "Umm no. I really have to get going. I just dropped by to say hi but it's alright"

"Did you want me to tell him you dropped by" Shaun asked with a smile

Bucky smiled softly "No it's alright. I'll call him later...just you know our secret"

Shaun smiled "It was very nice meeting you"

Bucky turned as he walked away "Likewise"

*Few Days Later*  
Bucky found himself back home after his little trip to visit Steve didn't go as planned. Guess he had moved on...then again could he really blame him. He didn't really contact him for months.

"Maybe it's for the best" Bucky thought as he typed away on his laptop.

He had been so busy these last few day with work that what majority of his day consisted of. 

"I need to get the hell out of here" Bucky said as he closed his laptop and grabbed his keys off the counter.

Bucky slipped on his coat and walked to the front door. Bucky opened the door and walked out not paying attention he bumped into someone.

"Oh geez. I'm really sor___" Bucky looked up and froze

"Hey Buck" 

"Oh my god. Steve?" Bucky replied in shock

"Going out?" Steve asked with a soft smile

"Umm yeah. Just needed to get away from work for a while. What are you doing here?" 

Steve smiled softly "Why didn't you tell me you went to my house?"

Bucky looked away and mumbled under his breath "Thanks for keeping the secret Shaun"

"How about we get some coffee first and we can go from there" Bucky said with a soft smile

Steve smiled "Sounds like a plan. After a long trip some coffee sounds great right now"

Soon Steve and Bucky found themselves sitting outside a small coffee shop. Bucky looked away nervously every time Steve would make eye contact.

"So are we just going to stare at each other all day or are you going to tell me why you went to my house and left without saying a word"

"I'm sorry. Look when I went there I thought I was ready to you know...talk but I guess I chickened out. No big deal" 

Steve smirked "You are a horrible liar babe"

Bucky gave a confused face "What?"

"You left because I had company over. That's the truth...isn't it?"

Bucky looked away embarrassed "I felt like maybe me going there was a mistake. I know that know since I see that you have moved on and I mean why wouldn't you"

Steve gave a puzzled expression and he continued to hear Bucky ramble on and on

"I mean I messed up and I realized that. It's okay though you know I'm not mad abou___"

Steve grabbed Bucky's hand "Will you shut up already"

Bucky locked eyes with Steve.

"Shaun is not my boyfriend. Shaun in fact is very straight. He's a friend of mine from work...he's been having a little trouble with his marriage and well he needed a place to crash until things cooled down between him and his wife. I felt bad so I let him stay as long as he needed"

"Fuck" Bucky sighed feeling like a complete idiot

Steve smirked "Admit it...you were jealous huh"

Bucky glared "Shut up. I was not...I could care less"

Steve chuckled "Who do you think you are fooling? This is me and to be honest I think it's kind of cute"

Bucky looked down embarrassed "Shut up"

"Listen. Does this mean that everything between us is okay?" Steve asked softly

Bucky locked eyes with Steve 

Where things okay?"


	19. Like A Broken Record

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Work Update

Bucky sighed softly "Yeah we're okay. Look I was just upset about how things went down. You know how I always hated being put on the spot"

Steve frowned "Yeah I know and I'm so sorry. I just went about it all the wrong way. Its's just I was just frustrated with everything going on that I guess I wasn't thinking straight"

Bucky cocked a brow "You think"

Steve rolled his eyes "Okay...I overreacted"

"I felt nothing but guilt after I left and during those weeks that I didn't hear from you. To be honest...I thought I wasn't going to hear from you again" 

Bucky sipped his coffee and placed his cup down

"You know to be honest...I wasn't planning on reaching out to you. I was just going to try and start over fresh but I realized that I couldn't. I missed you and well you are very important to me. You do play a huge part in my life"

Steve blushed and looked away.

Bucky smirked "Are you...are you blushing?"

"No. Damn it yes. You really don't know how hearing that makes me feel" Steve replied with a smile

Bucky smiled.

"Look let's get out of here. How about we go to a movie or something?" 

Bucky smiled softly "That sounds great"

Bucky stood from his seat and he watched as Steve pushed in his chair. Steve then walked over to Bucky and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Thank you" Steve whispered softly

Bucky gave a puzzled look "For what?"

"For everything" Steve replied as he laced his hands with Bucky's.

*Few Hours Later*  
Bucky moaned feeling Steve's lips on his throat. 

"You enjoying yourself?" Steve asked with a smirk

Bucky swallowed "I wasn't planning on doing this. Honestly"

Steve let his hands slid under Bucky's shirt as he began to trail his fingers down his toned chest. 

"Mmm...heaven" Bucky whispered

Steve smiled and was about to unbutton Bucky's jeans until Bucky's hand shot out and stopped him.

"Wait. I think we should stop" Bucky said trying to catch his breath

"What? Why" Steve asked looking down at Bucky

"I just...I don't want you to think I'm you know. Being easy...because I'm not"

Steve chuckled "Bucky you aren't being easy. We are just two people showing their love for one another and how much we missed each other"

Bucky pouted "I don't know'

Steve placed a sweet kiss on Bucky's forehead "God I love you so much"

Bucky smiled softly "I love you too"

"So umm...do you still want me to stop? Because you know I won't force you to do anything you don't want babe"

Bucky bit on his lower lip and gave a sly smile

"Thought so" Steve replied with a smirk

Steve could feel his end coming close but he held out as much as he could so Bucky could get the most phenomenal orgasm ever.

"Ohh Steve...I'm so close baby" Bucky cried out his nails raking down Steve's back

"Come on baby. Come for me...let me see you come for me" Steve growled out sweat rolling down his toned stomach

"Ohh fuck...fuck. OHH GOD" Bucky cried out as he came with Steve joining him as well.

Steve collapsed aside of Bucky and pulled him into his arms.

Bucky locked eyes with Steve and quickly looked away.

"What? What's the matter?" Steve asked with a soft smile

"You sure I wasn't being to...easy?" Bucky asked with a frown

Steve laughed "Babe we've loved each other for like ever. So no you weren't being easy...sometimes you just can't help how you feel. And well you are human and have needs"

Bucky smiled and watched as Steve took his hand in his and laced them together. 

"Bucky I love you so much. i don't think I can picture my life without you. I lost you once and I won't lose you again"

Bucky could feel his heart pounding.

And once again just like last time "Bucky? Will you marry me?"

Bucky sighed sadly "Oh Steve. I'm so sorry...but...I just can't"


	20. Entitled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating because I've been sick and now I'm all better so yeah  
> Here's an update

Bucky got out of bed and slipped on his pajamas.

"Wait? Did you just say no...again?" Steve asked with a frown

Bucky sighed "Yes. Look Steve I'm sorry if you thought that me and you sleeping together meant it was going to change my mind but it hasn't. I can't marry you...yes I love you. I always have bu___"

"But what? What now? You still going to use the fact that I left years ago? Or wait the fact that I called you out in front of your now ex husband"

Bucky glared "Are you really going to be a child about this?"

"No. It's just...it's just___"

"It's just what? What now that I'm divorced...it's means I'm just going to run off and get married to you. Is that what you thought? It that why you came back? Is that why you wanted to have sex with me? To get me to change my mind?"

Steve sighed "No of course not"

"Well then? Why can't you just accept the fact that I just can't marry you?" Bucky replied sadly his anger subsiding

"Because we love each other. Bucky we've always loved each other. I just don't understand why you keep shooting me down. I mean would you ever want to spend the rest of your life with me?" Steve asked sadly 

Bucky hung his head "I...I don't know Steve. I do love you...I've always loved you but I just got out of a divorce. The last thing on my mind is getting married...again"

"But it's me babe" Steve sad with a frown

Bucky walked to the door and sighed "Even if it was you Steve. I just...can't"

With that Bucky walked out of the room leaving Steve more lost than ever. 

*The Next Morning*  
Steve awoke the next day. The opposite side of the bed empty...guess Bucky never went back to bed.

Steve got dressed and walked into the kitchen looked around 

"Where the hell is he?" Steve thought 

It was then that he heard the door unlock and Bucky walk in.

"Hey" Bucky said softly

Steve turned around and his heart stopped 

"Oh my god. Babe what did you do?" Steve said faintly

"What? You don't like it?" Bucky asked with a pout

"No. I love it...it's just. I loved your long hair...it's gonna take some getting used to"

Bucky smiled softly "Well I didn't cut it to short. It's still got some length to it...see"

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair showing Steve the length of it as Steve watched with a smile.

"You look beautiful as always" Steve replied 

"Umm look about last night. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get upset...it's just"

Steve took Bucky's hand "I get it and I should be the one who is sorry. I do want one day for us to be married...but only if you want to and only when you are ready. And if...you don't ever want to marry me. Well I'm happy as long as you are in my life"

Bucky smiled "Thank you for understanding. And it's not that I won't ever marry you...just need some time"

"You take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere" Steve replied with a smile

"So...umm what did you want to do today?" Bucky asked softly

"Whatever is okay with me. I'm game for anything" Steve replied with a smile

"Okay well how about dinner and a movie" Bucky replied with a smile

"Sounds great...but only I'm making dinner" Steve replied wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist

"Really now? Well sounds interesting" Bucky replied with a smirk

"How about this. You go pick out a movie and I'll get what I need to make dinner. Sound fair?" Steve replied kissing Bucky sweetly

"Fair enough for me" Bucky replied his tone deep and seductive

"Okay. Well I'm leaving before this goes any further" Steve replied grabbing his keys

Bucky chuckled as he watched Steve rush out the front door.


	21. I'd Take It All Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it has been a long time since I've updated this little gem  
> I missed it and have been brainstorming for this one for a while.  
> Still working on other projects...but well you get the picture.  
> Now time for this long awaited update.

Running into the building Bucky felt his heart racing and his nerves going off the charts crazy. The drive here was not an easy one. Then again neither was the phone call he got being notified about what happen. 

He had waited and waited. And Steve has still not come home. It had been almost 2 hours until he got a call from someone telling him the worst news he could possibly get.

Rushing up to the counter Bucky tried his best to calm himself.

"I'm looking for my boyfriend. Please. He was just brought in here today. His name is Steve. Steve Rogers"

The nurse smiled warmly "Alright. Just give me a minuet sweetheart"

Bucky felt his heart jack-hammering in his chest as he waited.

"Okay yes. He was just settled in. He is in Room 203. Take that elevator up and there should be another nurse on that floor to direct to his room"

Bucky nodded "Thank you so much"

Rushing to the elevator Bucky pushed the floor button he was told and waited for the stop. Once it stopped he made his way to the counter on that floor and the nurse kindly directed him to Steve's room.

Walking in Bucky felt his heart breaking. 

"Oh Steve...Oh baby" Bucky whispered in tears.

In the room lie Steve in his hospital bed. His arms covered in scratches and bruises. His face as well bared scratches and his lower lip bruised and partially cut. It didn't look like his Steve. The Steve he saw smiling this morning.

Walking slowly to Steve's side Bucky reached out and grabbed his hand. Steve showed no reaction to the touch. He just laid there motionless.The room was filled with nothing but the beeping of the machines that were aided in keeping Steve stable and the sound of the IV dripping in helping aid Steve from any pain. 

"Oh Steve. Baby I'm so sorry" Bucky cried kissing his hand

Closing his eyes Bucky recalled the phone call he had gotten. Steve was in a car accident. It was head on. The other drive wasn't paying attention on was on his cell. Passing a red light Steve had the right away but the other drive didn't stop and crashed into Steve head on. The driver suffered only a broken arm and leg. He too was taken to the hospital. But Steve on the other hand wasn't so lucky. 

Now here he was lying on a hospital bed. Covered in bruises and scratches. Looking almost a shell of the man he was this morning.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here with him. Would you like me to return later?" a man asked softly

Bucky nodded "No. It's okay"

"I'm Dr. McCarthy. I was the one who attended to Mr. Rogers when he was brought in. And you are?"

"James Barnes. Steve...he's...well" Bucky hesitated 

Dr McCarthy smiled softly "I understand. And I don't judge"

Bucky smiled softly "Is he going to be okay?"

"Well he does have some apparent injuries. He also did suffer some bruised ribs and his left wrist is fractured"

Bucky sighed sadly "When I walked in he didn't even respond to me. Is that normal?"

Dr. McCarthy sighed "Reason Mr. Rogers didn't respond is because he slipped into what appears to be a coma. How long he will be out? Well only he can decide that"

Bucky felt his heart drop "Oh god"

"Look I'm sure he will be fine. You just have to give him some time"

Bucky looked over to Steve "I know he'll be okay. He's strong. And as far as time. Well I got nothing but time"

Bucky walked into Steve's room after making a quick trip by home to pick up a few things. He decided he wasn't going anywhere tonight and planned to stay overnight with Steve just in case anything happened.

Scooting his chair closer to Steve's side Bucky felt the tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry about fighting with you earlier. Oh god if I could take it all back I would. I just hate seeing you like this Steve. Please stay strong for both of us. And I promise...I'm not going anywhere"

Kissing Steve's hand he spoke softly "I love you. Always"

*Few Months Later*  
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Time flew by and Steve still had yet to give any response. But Bucky never left his side. He occasionally went home to make sure everything was taken care of and to shower. Other than that Bucky was right by Steve's side in his usual spot in the chair nearby. The nurses would bring Bucky coffee every morning and would even buy him breakfast.

Bucky watched as Steve was taken care of. Since Steve was in his coma he was not able to adequately take care of his personal hygiene he was bathed where he laid. Bucky would always help nurses move him to make it easier for them. Bucky would do everything and anything to keep Steve as comfortable as possible. 

"Oh I can do that. If that is okay with you" Bucky said with a smile seeing a nurse walk in with a razor and shaving cream

"Of course. Let me know if you need anything else" 

Bucky smiled softly "Thank you" 

Caressing Steve's face Bucky smiled softly "How about we clean you up a little bit huh"

Bucky knew Steve couldn't respond. But that didn't mean he couldn't hear him. Bucky would talk to him everyday. He would even read to him and tell him stories about when they first met and how his day went. 

Putting some shaving cream on his hand Bucky carefully smoothed it out on Steve's face. Once he was done with that Bucky began to shave him slowly. 

"Where the hell did I put that bowl" Bucky mumbled to himself

"I'll be right back" Bucky said walking into the bathroom and looking for the tray that was given to him early for rinsing items when he needed.

Bucky sighed "Damn it. I know I left it here"

Bucky walked back into the room and began scrounging around the room. Moving things everywhere Bucky was beginning to go insane looking for it. 

"Ah ha. Found you" Bucky said spotting the small tray underneath one of his bags from home.

"Buck" a voice said weakly

Bucky felt his heart stop as he dropped the razor and the tray in his hands.

"Oh my god"

"What are you doing? And why am I covered in shaving cream?" he asked faintly

Bucky began to cry as he rushed over to him and hugged him

Inhaling a sharp breath he spoke "Ouch"

"I'm sorry. Sorry. Oh god Steve...I can't believe it. Baby do you know where you are"

Steve shifted but then gasped out feeling a sting of pain shoot through his side "Well not home obviously"

"Your in the hospital. You've been here for almost 3 months. You were in a really bad accident. Do you remember the accident?"

Steve shook his head "No. No I don't. I just remember darkness"

Bucky frowned "I'm just glad that you are okay. And to hear your voice...I never thought I'd hear your voice again"

Steve smiled weakly "Gonna take a lot more than a car accident to keep my mouth shut"

Bucky chuckled softly and he leaned in slowly and kissed Steve sweetly

"I love you"

Steve smiled "You have shaving cream on you now. But...I love you too"

Lacing their hands together Bucky kissed the back of Steve's hand.

"So...you plan on taking the shaving cream off my face anytime soon"

**Author's Note:**

> *As Always Be Gentle*


End file.
